Rent-a-Cat

EEEEK!!! I always thought of myself as an animal lover. I still believe I am but I used to think that when given the choice of seeing a bug in my apartment or a mouse I would choose a mouse. Not so! It's along the lines of "you don't know what you got 'til its gone" but in a "don't know which is worse 'til both happen" sort of way.

I admit that my apartment is a bit of a mess right now but not so bad that I thought it would attract unwanted houseguests. So when I walked in to my dining room, flipped on the light and saw a small, furry creature scamper towards the stove and dissappear behind it, I was pretty suprised. Frozen may be a better word for it as I felt like I couldn't move or speak for what felt like days. I broke out of the stupor to leap to my bed and curl up in a ball. I felt violated and that all my belongings were tainted now that the mouse had been in my house. I quickly gathered up a few things and left the apartment to go to the coffee shop. There was no way I was going to stay in my house with that thing!

Johnny must be more disgusted by mice than me because he showed up with a rent-a-cat (his friend's) after I told him what I had walked in on earlier. Supposedly the cat's scent will keep the mouse or other mice from coming back into the apartment. I hope it works although maybe we should just move! I'll definitely be deep cleaning the apartment this weekend.

Trust

I find it hard to distinguish between my intuition/instinct and feelings of paranoia. I really don't think that Johnny would cheat on me. I think he really loves me and he wants to be with me and he doesn't want to hurt me. Is it stupid for me to think that though? Should I be taking what I learned from my mistakes with Malnourished (my ex) and using them in this relationship? There are certain things that Johnny has done that maybe are signs that I should run. Like when I caught him dancing with another girl at Bar A. Or the fact that he has a MySpace account and never mentioned it. And the fact that Leslie saw on his MySpace that he is listed as Single and looking for "sexy ass woman that aren't damaged." Do I take these things as reasons to not be with him? Or are they just dumb things that don't matter? At some point I just have to put my full trust in Johnny and not be afraid to get hurt. Everyone has the potential to hurt us but not everyone will. I want to be a really good girlfriend and I don't want to give him a reason to want to cheat. From the conversations we have had he said he has never cheated on a girlfriend and that he would never want to meet a girl online. I think I need to go with my true feelings about Johnny because I know deep down that he is a good man and that he loves me. I can't let the little things get to me. He knows that he is lucky to have me and I don't think he is going to do anything to mess that up.