Alone.

Sometimes I feel very alone in my relations with Johnny. I feel like we are on separate, parallel at times but separate paths. I understand that life is hard for him right now and that he is depressed. Sometimes I don't think Johnny considers my feelings or wishes when he makes decisions. I'm always thinking about him and us when I make decisions. I'm a thoughtful person and I can't not think about his needs/wants when I do things. When do I get to be with something who is as responsible as I am? Will Johnny grow into that or is this how it is going to be forever. I understand that he cannot contribute financially right now but then why can he afford to go out with his friends every weekend or buy lunch almost everyday when we have lunch food in the house. And having no money does not stop someone from being thoughtful and picking up after themselves. Or doing the dishes when there are dirty ones in the sink. Or cleaning the bathroom or keeping his area in the bedroom straightened up. Not only does he not do these things without being asked, he doesn't do them when I ask him to. I get really frustrated and I view all of this as him not investing in our relationship. Because to me, if he really cared he would do these things. I was watching "The Breakup" yesterday and feeling exactly how Brooke (Jennifer Aniston) was describing her feelings. When do men grow up? That is the real question. I compare all men to my Dad which I'm sure most girls do. My Dad always helped out around the house. Not only did he do the outside chores and repairs, he helped with dishes and laundry. But was he always like that or did that come with getting older and maturation? And how long am I supposed to wait around to see? Obviously if Johnny is 50 and I'm still complaining about the lack of help then it may be time to move on but then it's too late. What can I say to him that will make him understand where I'm coming from? When I try to talk to him all he says is that he is depressed and it's like that is his excuse for everything. Well he is making me depressed because I feel alone in this relationship. I can't do everything. Not only am I paying all the bills but I do all the housework. I think I will tell him that if he can't do some of the chores then he needs to start paying for half of everything.